It was Tigers Wedding, he works at my school. Yup...that's his English name. Aaaand I named him... haha! Seriously... He was wearing a Golf shirt when he asked for an English name, we couldn't remember or pronounce his Korean one, so I immediately though "Tiger Woods", although no matter how many times I correct him... he's positive I named him after the animal and growls and paws at me DAILY!!!
I don't even know where to start to explain this Wedding and I know I'll never do it justice... it was a "you had to be there" sort of experience, but I'll do my best!
So Koreans get married in a Wedding Convention Center or a "Wedding Factory" as we called it. There is several rooms with several Weddings all happening simultaneously, AND Weddings back to back in each of these rooms, one after the other. They just pump them through every hour. Everyone from all the separate Weddings congregate in the large hallway connecting the rooms waiting their turn. The groom and family are hanging out there too but the Brides have their own special poka-dot decorated small room, where they sit for pictures. The Wedding guests line up outside these rooms to go in and congratulate and take pictures with the Bride.
Tiger was a General in the Army so he had some Soldiers as an escort for him, lining the aisle the Bride and Groom walked down... with SWORDS!
(Check out the fake smoke above)
Then the Soldiers did their march and positioned themselves with their swords making an arch for the Groom to enter alone and then the Brides entrance with her Father. When Tiger walked in... they played some "Eye of the Tiger" pumping background music for his entrance and the Bride had something similar but more of an electronic beat. Strange!
The once they were at the stage/alter (I don't even know what you would call it) the Korean man/Priest??? waffled on in Korean for a while, while fog machines blew out fake smoke every now and then... giving the illusion that the Bride and Groom were standing on a cloud. Tacky and jaw-dropping!
Then some Korean guy sang them a love song, followed by a ten minute slide show of the couple, all professional taken pictures, all pretty much the same. All of this must have been part of their wedding package.
At this point the Bride was balling crying (I would have been too!). Then the Soldiers returned for their exit walk, which began with the Wedding March anthem and quickly changed to an electronic version which trailed off... As a planned joke, each of the Soldiers would put their swords in front of the newly wed couple as they walked back down the aisle and made them do a task so they could pass...The Wedding guest were all laughing! They made tiger do push-ups, they had to hug and then Tiger had to speak into her boobs??? Seriously!!! The Bride is still crying hysterically at this point.
To top if all off.... WE.. as in the foreign teachers, there was probably 10 of us invited, were in the Wedding photos. I don't think any of us even knew Tigers Wife's name?!!!
In the audience for this Wedding... people were answering their phones, kids were playing their Nintendo, people were asleep and I even saw one man attend in a pair of sweat pants.
Following the Theatre performance/Wedding, we were handed meal tickets where we went to a huge Buffet dining hall along with all the guest of all the other Weddings taking place that day and found a table to sit down and eat!
It was the craziest, most impersonal Wedding I've ever attended.
Korea YOU WIN!
3 comments:
you are SO HILARIOUS.
this sounds crazy. only in korea huh..
omg i wish i had been there! i now know what y wedding should be like!
If your gonna have a wedding like this... I BETTER be invited. haha!
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